Toward a New Life

For the sake of the kids parents have universally sacrificed in the hope for the future of children who carry within them the future. Collectively parents attempt to nurture, support, hold on and finally let go of these gifts, that were never really ours to begin with. My life was no different, and along the way, I made my mistakes, cried my tears and continued to be the best father, I was taught to be.

It was the late eighties, and more and more members of the private section were moving into teaching.  I had been working as a outside salesmen for years, and decided the time was right for me make a career change in education. I always saw myself as not being defined by what I did but rather who I was, so as a small ship needs to chart a new course as it moves through unknown waters, I was determined to travel into my own unknown waters, and move toward a new life.

I’m reminded of the Peggy Lee song of the sixties entitled, “Is That All There Is,” and though my life would continue to be a litany of duties and responsibilities with an epithet that would read, “He was born, made mistakes, did something right, then he died.” I was being swallowed up in the dance of life that was slowly grinding me down. Lossing all connections to religion, because I began to see religion as created by men created to control society. I wanted to hold on to something greater than me, to a sense of spiritually to answer to all my concerns about what is real.

My upbringing reminded me that it was better to suffer in this life, and live for eternity in heaven, so I offered up the trials of this life, for the sake of the kids. In the end, like a animal lost in an unfamiliar environment, I just held onto myself, sought my own bearings, and slowly over time, began a new search for what was real: A life beyond the barriers that hold us back!


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